They bought us Donny,

They bought us Dele,

They lost 5-0 to Spurs on the telly,

Chasing points from week to week,

No sign of Alli or Van de Beek,

What have we,

What have we done to deserve this?

Thanks to Sean Ponzini, Gary Lunt and Niall O'Donnell for their gargantuan contributions to this episode which is in association with The Excelsior.