‘Failure is a badge of honour. It means you risked failure.’

So insisted Charlie Kaufman, penner of such populism-renouncing flicks as Synecdoche, New York and I'm Thinking of Ending Things.

Tell that to the orphans and widows of the Challenger disaster, Chuck. Go scream that at the rabble queueing up outside Jobcentre Plus*. At best, your aphorism is birdbrained and callous. At worst, it legitimises and indeed glamourises wanton sloth.

Call yourself a writer? Berk.

Failure now hath made his masterpiece with this A/V donation. Two hours of two wallies talking about things I don't understand.

Oh, and the brown sauce on the bacon? We're getting untold minutes of their truant third rabbiting on about trivia.

Wonderful.

*Yes, I have from time to time fou ...