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Death Becomes Her

Death Becomes Her

por LiElla Kelly

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Temporada 3

Grief & AI

Can AI bring back the dead? Not literally. But it can create something that feels surprisingly close. In this episode of Death Becomes Her, we explore the rapidly emerging world of grief AI—chatbots, voice cloning, digital avatars, and interactive memorials designed to simulate conversations with people who have died. From the séances of the Fox Sisters in 1848 to today's AI-powered "griefbots," humans have always searched for one more conversation with the people they love. But what changes when those conversations are no longer imagined...and begin talking back? This episode explores the ethical, psychological, and practical questions surrounding this new technology: Why are griefbots so compelling? How do services like StoryFile differ from AI systems that generate entirely new conversations? What is the difference between preserving someone's memories and reconstructing their personality? Can artificial intelligence change the way we grieve? What happens when commercial interests intersect with profound human loss? And should grieving consumers receive the same protections that already exist in other areas of the funeral industry? Rather than offering simple answers, this episode invites listeners to think critically about how we want these technologies to shape our relationship with the dead—and with one another. Topics Discussed The Fox Sisters and the rise of Spiritualism Continuing Bonds Theory in modern grief research StoryFile and conversational memorial technology AI grief companions and digital legacy platforms Voice cloning and conversational AI The FTC Funeral Rule and consumer protection The psychology of human attachment to artificial intelligence The ethics of digital resurrection Mentioned in this Episode StoryFile Séance AI The Federal Trade Commission's Funeral Rule Continuing Bonds Theory Further Reading Federal Trade Commission: The Funeral Rule Klass, Silverman & Nickman, Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief Sherry Turkle, Alone Together Sherry Turkle, Reclaiming Conversation MIT Media Lab research on human interaction with social robots Current research on AI companionship and parasocial relationships If this episode made you think, I'd love to hear from you. Would you want one more conversation with someone you've lost? Or would you choose to let that conversation remain a memory? You can learn more about my work as an end-of-life doula and funeral celebrant at Leaving Well. And if you enjoyed this episode, please consider following the show and leaving a review. It helps more people discover thoughtful conversations about death, grief, and what it means to live well. Remember: talking about death won't kill you. I promise. This episode reflects the state of grief AI technology and publicly available research at the time of recording. Because this field is evolving rapidly, some products and services discussed may change or no longer be available by the time you listen.

Showing Up

What does it mean to truly show up when someone you love has died? Not to observe from a distance, not to hand everything off to strangers — but to stay close, use your hands, and do something rather than have something done. In this episode, three stories. A man who handed a death doula a list of names and died four days later, trusting that his people would figure it out. A family who drove through the Montana night with their father, racing a clock, doing the last thing they could do for him. And two daughters who discovered, somewhere around midnight, that they were braver than they knew. Underneath, they are the same story. About presence over passivity. About love made tangible. This episode opens with Alfred Lord Tennyson's The Lady of Shalott. The stanzas used: It was the closing of the day: She loos'd the chain, and down she lay; The broad stream bore her far away, The Lady of Shalott. A gleaming shape she floated by, Dead-pale between the houses high, Silent into Camelot. The paintings referenced are John William Waterhouse's The Lady of Shalott — 1888, 1894, and 1915. Worth looking up. If today's themes feel familiar, find Extreme Embalming and Kelly in the Death Becomes Her archive. You don't need a roadmap. You just need to show up. Talking about death won't kill you. I promise.

The Paris Morgue

For decades, the Paris Morgue was one of the city’s most popular attractions. Thousands of people lined up each day to look at the dead bodies pulled from the Seine, displayed on marble slabs, their stories unknown. This wasn’t an anomaly. It was part of a culture built on observation. From the wandering flâneur to the spectacle of cabarets, from the underground atmosphere of the catacombs to the public display of death, Paris was a city that taught its people how to look. In this episode, we explore: The Paris Morgue as public theatre The culture of spectacle in Belle Époque Paris The strange intimacy of anonymous death And why, even today, we’re often more comfortable looking at strangers than at our own dead Because while we may no longer line up outside a morgue, our fascination with death hasn’t disappeared. It’s just changed shape. And when death enters our own lives, many of us turn away.

A Place to Put Grief: Why We Gather When Someone Dies

What happens when grief has nowhere to go? In this episode, we explore why gathering matters after a death--whether that gathering is a formal funeral, an intimate dinner, or something we create ourselves. From the spectacle of the Duke of Wellington’s funeral and Charles Dickens’ sharp critique, to the overwhelming public mourning of Rudolph Valentino, we look at what happens when ritual overwhelms, and when it disappears altogether. This is a conversation about authenticity, gracious honesty, and the deep human need to acknowledge loss. Because funerals aren’t about perfection. They’re about making space. About giving grief a place to land. www.leavingwellmt.com Instagram: leaving.well.death.doula TikTok: Death Doula LiElla

When the End Is Known: How Impermanence Changes the Way We Live

www.leavingwellmt.com Instagram: leaving.well.death.doula Tiktok: Death Doula LiElla In this episode of Death Becomes Her, LiElla explores how human behavior changes when time becomes visible, through two unexpected cultural phenomena, Unus Annus and Red Dead Redemption 2.

The Capuchin Catacombs, Palermo, Sicily

Beneath the streets of Palermo lies a haunting yet deeply human story—the Capuchin Catacombs, where the dead remain eerily present. In this episode, we step into the dim corridors lined with mummified monks, aristocrats, and children, exploring the motivations behind their unusual burials. What drove people to preserve their bodies in such a dramatic fashion? How did visitors of the past experience this macabre yet sacred space? And what does it reveal about our own desire to be remembered? Join me as we unravel history, confront mortality, and uncover the echoes of those who came before us.

The Whitechapel Club

In this episode, LiElla takes a look at the fascinating history of the Whitechapel Club, a late 19th-century group of journalists who embraced gallows humor, irreverence, and a deep fascination with mortality. With their macabre decor and unconventional rituals, the club served as a stark reflection of their time—and perhaps, of ours. Join me as I draw parallels between the Whitechapel Club’s dark approach to death and our modern-day obsession with true crime. What is it about the morbid and the mysterious that captivates us? Prepare for a journey through history and the human condition—because talking about death won't kill you...I promise.

The Sin-Eaters

Ever heard of Sin-Eaters? In this fast-paced episode, LiElla dives into the fascinating history of these mysterious figures who were believed to take on the sins of the dead. From the past rituals to preserving legacy today, we'll explore how this tradition connects to the modern role of death doulas – and how, in many ways, we’re still 'eating' the worries of the dying and their loved ones. Get ready to unpack the past and find meaning in the present.

Temporada 2

Medical Cadavers

LiElla takes a look at the history of medical cadavers and discusses what you need to consider if you would like to donate your body to science.

The Cult of Mourning

On the latest episode, LiElla takes a look at the excess associated with Victorian mourning rituals and compares them to modern bereavement practices. How do we stack up?

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