Did Alan get a handy from a Masai Prostitute while on safari? No. When his flight was delayed and he had to spend a night in Amsterdam, did he partake of the delights of the red light district? No. When an opportunity presented itself for Alan to ride a hot air balloon over the Serengeti, did he go? Again, no.

But he DID face off against some elephants, encounter some shocking anti-Semitism, and catch AIDS. So that's something.