Stretching in Relationship, featuring De West
When I first studied Imago Relationship Therapy, now almost 30 years ago, its brilliant founder, Harville Hendrix, taught me many new ways of thinking about things. He steered us away from the idea of “compromise,” where it seemed no one would be satisfied in a lasting or resilient way. Rather, he taught us the concept of both partners “stretching” toward the other: moving gently beyond my own paradigm toward that of my partner, to resolve a disconnect or conflict. I have retained that concept over all these years. Stretching my body? Well, not so much! I always hated stretching, had no use for anything but cardio activity. I barely tolerated the brief stretching routine we had to do on group bike rides. I wanted nothing more than to move. I suppose I was chronically “running from a tiger.” Now with strange, admittedly limiting and painful issues in my neck and spine, I have had to learn the disavowed words “I can’t” about some simple things, like looking up at the bird my husband the semi-ornithologist would be pointing to. When there appeared to be no viable medical treatment for me, I first lapsed into despair and then grudgingly took the advice of dear friend and trusted counsel Janina Fisher, who referred me to her long-time yoga teacher. That was a long shot. If I hated stretching, I really had not use for yoga! But influenced by my relationship with Janina, I gave in and made the call. Then I met De. I discovered first that I hated yoga, but I loved her. And now almost a year after starting to work at least twice a week with De, I have come almost to like it. Sometimes I will be lying on the mat, and just well up with gratitude. Once again, with attachment anything is possible. In today’s video I am delighted to introduce you to De!
