Set your Mind

by Dr. Stephen Ginsberg

Self-Improvement Mental Health

Season 1

Episode 41: Know Your Puzzle Pieces

“Doc, do I really need to meet with you when things are going this well?” Dr. Stephen Ginsberg hears this question all the time, and his answer usually surprises clients. Some of the most productive sessions happen when nothing seems to be wrong. Athletes and high performers tend to study their failures closely and let their successes pass by unexamined. In this episode, Stephen explains how to reverse engineer a good stretch. You identify what you’re doing, thinking, and choosing that’s working, so you can come back to it when you drift. The goal is to fireproof instead of putting out fires. In this episode: Why the sessions clients want to skip are often the most valuable Reverse engineering success: treating a good stretch as data Benjamin Franklin, fire safety, and the case for prevention The Puzzle Pieces exercise: listing the habits, routines, and mindset behind your best performance A visual version of the exercise for visual learners Why your puzzle is personal and why it has to change as you do Try this: Grab a pen and think back to a time you were at your best. Write “Puzzle Pieces” at the top of the page, then list everything that contributed. That page is your roadmap for the next time things fall apart. *Music Credit: “Kong” by Bonobo; Courtesy of Ninja Tune Records

Episode 40: Bucket Fillers and Spillers

You’ve probably heard the saying: everything you need to know in life, you learn in kindergarten. This episode makes the case that it might actually be true. Inspired by a lesson from my oldest son’s kindergarten classroom, we explore the simple—but powerful—idea of bucket fillers and bucket spillers: the people and behaviors that either add to our energy or quietly drain it away. Because your energy, emotional and physical, is finite. And learning how to protect it is one of the most important performance and well-being skills we can develop. What This Episode Covers The kindergarten concept of bucket filling—and why it holds up in adulthood How the people around you influence your mood, behavior, and sense of self The difference between energy-generating and energy-draining interactions Everyday examples of bucket-filling and bucket-spilling behaviors Why your body often knows the answer before your mind does Bucket Filling Might Look Like: Checking in on someone who seems off Sitting with someone in the struggle instead of rushing to fix it Celebrating others without comparison or ego Helping people feel seen, heard, or understood Bucket Spilling Might Look Like: Dominating conversations Gossiping or excluding others Making every interaction about yourself Cutting people down—or “yucking someone else’s yum” Reflection Questions After spending time with someone, ask yourself: Do I feel more energized or more depleted? More grounded or more anxious? More like myself, or less? That information matters. Applied to Performance Executives: What kind of energy does each person on your team bring into the room? Athletes: Are the people on your personal performance team filling your bucket, or spilling it? Coaches: Is your culture designed to generate energy… or slowly drain it? Final Reminder You are responsible for protecting and refilling your own bucket. That doesn’t mean isolating. It doesn’t mean being selfish. It means being intentional. Because the fuller your bucket is, the more you’re capable of giving, without burning out, hardening, or losing yourself along the way. *Music Credit: “Kong” by Bonobo; Courtesy of Ninja Tune Records

Episode 39: The Weight of Hiding

In 1989, a 19-year-old Andre Agassi looked into a Canon camera and said, "Image is everything." What nobody knew was that his famous hair was partly a hairpiece. A year later it nearly fell apart the night before his first Grand Slam final, and he spent the match playing not to lose it. In this episode, Dr. Stephen Ginsberg looks at the hidden cost of protecting an image: the energy it takes, the joy it steals and the performance it limits. Drawing on Charles Cooley's "looking-glass self" and Brené Brown's research on shame, he explains why we hide, why hiding makes shame grow, and what happens when athletes finally stop. In this episode: Agassi's hairpiece and the 1990 French Open final What the word "image" really means, and why it matters The looking-glass self: living by how we imagine others see us Why shame is at the root of hiding (even if you think "that's not me") Brené Brown: shame needs secrecy, silence and judgment to grow Kevin Love's panic attack and the essay that changed the conversation Hiding as a weighted vest you forget you're wearing Victor Wembanyama, Gary Woodland and Lionel Messi on putting the weight down Why you don't have to take the vest off alone Mentioned: Andre Agassi, Open (2009) Charles Cooley, the looking-glass self Brené Brown's research on shame and vulnerability Kevin Love, "Everyone Is Going Through Something," The Players' Tribune (2018) The question to take with you: Is your hiding protecting you, or costing you? If you're struggling, talking with a licensed psychologist or sport psychologist can help. You don't have to carry it alone. Music Credit: “Kong” by Bonobo; Courtesy of Ninja Tune Records

Episode 38: The Space Between

In 1942, Viktor Frankl was taken to a Nazi concentration camp. He lost his father, his mother, his wife, but he never lost his freedom to choose how he responded to what happened to him. In this episode of Set Your Mind, Dr. Stephen Ginsberg unpacks Frankl's discovery: the space between stimulus and response, and why filling that gap with awareness, not instinctive reaction is where real performance freedom lives. You'll learn the difference between a reaction and a response, why golfers (and humans) collapse that space without noticing, and a simple driving-range drill to start creating it on purpose. This isn't just about managing bad shots. It's about learning to savor the good ones too. Music Credit: “Kong” by Bonobo; Courtesy of Ninja Tune Records

Episode 37: Armored Golf

In this episode of Set Your Mind, Dr. Stephen Ginsberg examines the psychological armor golfers subconsciously wear to protect themselves from embarrassment and explores the evolutionary and neurological roots of why social judgment can register as a genuine threat. Drawing on research into self-conscious emotion and the neural overlap between social and physical pain, Dr. Ginsberg distinguishes a real threat from a false alarm and introduces five practical shifts for playing without the weight of self-protection. The episode closes with Theodore Roosevelt's "Man in the Arena" address, reframing the alternative to armored golf as daring golf: playing fully exposed, and fully in the game. In This Episode Why embarrassment is classified as a self-conscious emotion, and what that requires psychologically The evolutionary link between social exclusion and physical threat, and why the brain often can't tell the two apart How to distinguish a real threat from a false alarm on the course A practical check-in for evaluating worst-case scenarios The five mental shifts required to remove the armor: process over outcome, control over no control, values over opinions, improving over proving, and learning over judging Theodore Roosevelt's "Man in the Arena" and the concept of daring golf Referenced in This Episode Ted Lasso, Season 4, Episode 5, "Riches of Embarrassment" Elizabeth Appell — "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" (frequently and incorrectly attributed to Anaïs Nin) Theodore Roosevelt, "Citizenship in a Republic," 1910 ("The Man in the Arena") Music Credit: “Kong” by Bonobo; Courtesy of Ninja Tune Records

Episode 36: The Kintsugi Mindset

A potter's masterpiece shatters on the studio floor. Before he can sweep it into the trash, his teacher, a Shokunin, a master craftsman, stops him and asks one question: "Why did you throw away your masterpiece?" What happens next is kintsugi: the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold, so the cracks aren't hidden, they're highlighted. In this episode, Dr. Stephen Ginsberg unpacks the Kintsugi Mindset and what it means for how you handle failure on the course, at work, and everywhere in between. Drawing on Nassim Taleb's Antifragile and the Japanese worldview of Wabi-Sabi, Stephen makes the case that your mistakes aren't flaws to conceal, they're feedback to use. But there's a catch: not every moment is the right moment for repair. This episode also covers the difference between the small, in-the-moment adjustments that keep you playing golf (not "playing golf swing") during competition, and the deeper excavation that belongs in practice and post-round reflection. In this episode: The kintsugi story and what a broken bowl can teach you about failure Taleb's fragile / robust / antifragile framework, and where your game fits Why "everything is neutral until you label it" changes how you see a bad round When to make a small swing adjustment vs. when to do the full evaluation This week's challenge: turning one post-round mistake into your gold line This week's challenge: After your next round, identify one mistake or struggle. Don't rush past it, ask the Shokunin's question: "What do I see here?" Then name exactly how you'll improve on it. Mentioned in this episode: Antifragile by Nassim Taleb; kintsugi pottery Follow Set Your Mind for a new episode every week. Remember, mindset isn't something you have. It's something you set. Music Credit: “Kong” by Bonobo; Courtesy of Ninja Tune Records

Season 1

Episode 35: Grow Your Circle of Good

A golf ball is 1.68 inches across. The golf hole is 4.25 inches in diameter, two and a half times wider. So why do so many golfers, athletes, and high performers play (and live) like there's zero room for error? In this episode, Dr. Stephen Ginsberg introduces the idea of your "circle of good," the personal, often unconsciously narrow definition of what counts as an acceptable outcome. Drawing on stories from coaching college and professional golfers, PGA Tour proximity-to-hole data, and the difference between perfectionism and genuine excellence, Stephen makes the case that a rigid, all-or-nothing standard doesn't produce better performance, it produces more pressure, more self-criticism, and less resilience. You'll hear why even tour pros are routinely 20+ feet from the pin on approach shots, what separates "high achieving" perfectionists from truly elite performers, and why widening your circle of good might be the single biggest lever for both performance and peace of mind. In this episode: The physical math behind golf's built-in margin for error What Jack Nicklaus and Ben Hogan have said about how few shots per round actually go exactly to plan Why "good enough" isn't the same as lowering your standards What PGA Tour proximity data reveals about realistic expectations The difference between perfectionism and a healthy pursuit of excellence A simple question to measure the size of your own circle of good Music Credit: “Kong” by Bonobo; Courtesy of Ninja Tune Records

Episode 34: The Line of Best Fit

As a clinical and sport psychologist, Dr. Stephen Ginsberg doesn't have to use math all that often. The one exception is the scatter plot. In this episode, he explains why one bad round, one tough day, or one sub-par performance can send high performers spiraling, and why the real story is never in a single data point, it's in the line of best fit that cuts through the noise. Featuring Olympic runner Alexi Pappas's "rule of thirds," passed down from coach Ian Dobson, this episode reframes how to evaluate progress: not by the last dip, but by the trend across good days, okay days, and bad days. Music Credit: “Kong” by Bonobo; Courtesy of Ninja Tune Records

Episode 33: Lead the Field in Resilience

What does real resilience actually look like? Not "rub some dirt on it." Not grit your teeth and move on. In this episode, Dr. Stephen Ginsberg unpacks a conversation with a professional golfer about the true goal for tournament week: leading the field in resilience, not birdies, not fairways hit. Drawing on James Gross's research on emotion regulation, Dr. Ginsberg explains why skipping the step of acknowledging pain doesn't make you tougher, it sets you up for suppression, which deepens emotional intensity, impairs memory, and is linked to depressive symptoms. He offers a working definition of resilience that actually holds up: the capacity to metabolize a setback, feel it, process it, respond to it, faster and more completely than the setback demands of you. Music Credit: “Kong” by Bonobo; Courtesy of Ninja Tune Records

Episode 32: Simple Not Easy

Why do the simplest mental skills feel so hard to execute under pressure? In this episode of Set Your Mind, Dr. Stephen Ginsberg breaks down one of the most common patterns he sees in high performers: mistaking "simple" for "easy." Deep breathing, staying present, letting thoughts pass, the concepts are simple. Training yourself to actually use them in pressure-packed moments, day in and day out, is the real work. Dr. Ginsberg explains why accepting this distinction up front saves you from a lot of self-criticism, discouragement, and helplessness later, and closes with a simple challenge for your next practice session: pick one skill that feels easy, and commit to repeating it until it actually gets easier. Music Credit: “Kong” by Bonobo; Courtesy of Ninja Tune Records

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