Episode notes
What does a good relationship actually look like?
Couples therapists spend a lot of time talking about what goes wrong in relationships. But what if we turned the question around?
In this episode of Crazy in Love, Graham Johnston and Matt Wotton look at what a genuinely healthy relationship looks like — not a perfect relationship, not one without conflict, and certainly not one where two people magically meet all of each other’s needs.
Instead, they work through 12 qualities of a psychologically healthy relationship, from being able to tolerate your partner’s imperfections and accept that your memory isn't always the whole truth, to handling criticism without immediately going on the defensive, asking for what you actually want, and accepting that some differences simply can't be solved.
They also tackle some of the more uncomfortable ideas that often get missed in relationship advice: you don't get to complain about something you haven't asked for; independence isn't a betrayal; conflict is inevitable; fairness doesn't necessarily mean 50/50; and your relationship probably shouldn't be a permanent self-improvement project.
There’s plenty here that couples will recognise — and probably a few things they won't agree with.
So, what actually makes a relationship work? This is our attempt to answer that question.
You can find the list of 12 qualities here.
You can work with Graham here: www.grahamjohnston.uk
You can work with Matt here: www.matwotton.com